Friday, March 22, 2013

Top 10 quotes from the “Did Abe Lincoln Really Exist?” Facebook group



A few days ago a Facebook group entitled “Did Abe Lincoln Really Exist?” was formed.  The page is a comical jest at internet age atheism.  Below, are a top ten list in my opinion of quotes from the page:

10)
"Should slaves have been freed because Abe emancipated them?
Or did Abe emancipate them because they should have been freed? 

Euthyphro wins again."

9)
"As you can clearly see, the development of the Lincoln tradition is evidence of a father complex on behalf of his followers. With each iteration, Lincoln inherits more masculine traits. Clear evidence that Lincoln is nothing more than a psychological crutch for Republicans. It's no coincidence that Lincoln (assuming he existed) was a Republican as well!"

8)
"You are an Alincolnist toward the billions of people who have existed throughout history. We just believe in one less American president than you."

7)
"Fundamentalist Lincolnists, like the fundamentalist Alincolnists with whom they match wits, have got the story all wrong. Abe Lincoln exists, but not out there somewhere; he exists in each of us. We create our own Lincoln. We are the Lincolns of our own universe.

I heard that on Oprah. Some guy named Deepfried Cobra."

6)
Lincolnists claim that Lincoln was the president of the most powerful nation in the world and a good man. Yet one of the bloodiest wars in U.S. history occurred during his supposed presidency. Was Lincoln unable to prevent it? Then he could not have held a powerful office like the presidency. Was Lincoln unwilling to prevent it? Then he was not a good man. Was he both able and willing to prevent it? Then why did it occur?

Checkmate, Lincolnists.

5)
Why do we simply write off "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" as a work of apocrypha? How is it we give Sandburg, Goodwin, or McPherson more credibility than Graeme-Smith? Could Lincolnists be suppressing the truth about Lincoln?

4)
If Abe Lincoln emancipated the slaves, who emancipated the emancipator?

3)
"No-one is born believing in Lincoln. Only when people are taught about Lincoln, and usually at a young age, do people become Lincolnists."

2)
“Abe is dead. Abe remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was tallest and most epic bearded of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of freedom, what history months shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become presidents simply to appear worthy of it?”

1)
"I think belief in Lincoln is just a crutch. I stopped believing in Lincoln while I was in Vietnam" 

2 comments:

  1. Really great collection of abraham lincoln quotes, thank you so much for posting this quotes,
    abraham lincoln quotes

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